Humor
Signs On Church Property
"No God — No Peace. Know God — Know Peace." "Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!" "Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins." "Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!" An ad for St.Joseph’s Episcopal Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are […]
Life On An Island?
There are beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere where the following people are stranded: * 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman * 2 French men and 1 French woman * 2 German men and 1 German woman * 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman * 2 English men and 1 English […]
Jewish Humor
Oy, you’ll laugh… All the major Jewish holidays really have one basic reason for celebration: "They tried to kill us, we survived, let’s eat." — What’s the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish Mother? Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go. — A young Jewish Man calls his mother and says, "Mom, I’m bringing home a […]
How To Behave During An Eclipse
Subject: Required scientific behavior at eclipses Here are a few tips intended to make your eclipse experience extremely memorable. REMEMBER !!!: – Focus your camera before taking photos. – Take a flash photo (full face view) of someone acting as "astronomer" being very serious about trying to take a classic eclipse photo. Do it just […]
The Top Ten Reasons Men Should Join The Church Choir
10. Rehearsals are every Wednesday night. Which means that for those few hours, you will significantly reduce your risk of contracting tendinitis from nonstop operation of a television remote control or computer mouse. 9. Because you wear a choir robe every Sunday, you are liberated from a task many men find quite challenging: finding clothes […]
Actual Label Instructions
on consumer goods: On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that’s the only time I have to work on my hair!) On a bag of Fritos:You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!) On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be […]
A Simple Riddle
When asked this riddle, 80% of kindergarten students got the answer, compared to 17% of Stanford University seniors. What is greater than God, More evil than the devil, The poor have it, The rich need it, And if you eat it, you’ll die? If you’re ready to give up, scroll down for the answer: […]
No Fishing
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She’d seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary "tools" together, she made for the nearest frozen lake. After positioning her comfy stool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO […]
Wisdom From Senior Citizens
1. I started with nothing. I still have most of it. 2. When did my wild oats turn to prunes and All-Bran? 3. I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart. 4. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded. 5. All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair. 6. If all […]
Courtroom Transcript
CLERK: Please repeat after me: "I swear by Almighty God…" WITNESS: I swear by Almighty God. CLERK: That the evidence that I give… WITNESS: That’s right. CLERK: Repeat it. WITNESS: Repeat it. CLERK: No! Repeat what I said. WITNESS: What you said when? CLERK: That the evidence that I give… WITNESS: That the evidence that […]
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