Humor
Endangered Species
One beautiful autumn day, a Park Ranger discovered a man sitting in the woods chewing away on a dead Bald Eagle. "Hey mister, the Bald Eagle is a protected species, and killing one is punishable offence", said the Park Ranger. The man was swiftly arrested, and ushered before the judge. In court, he pleaded innocent […]
A Story Your Kids Will Like
A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The shop owner suggests a faithful dog. The man replies, "Come on, a dog?" The owner says, "How about a cat?" The man replies, "No way! A cat certainly can’t do everything. I […]
Revenge Of The Blondes
A lawyer and a blonde woman are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over […]
When To Be Hungry
Three cowboys had been riding the range since early in the morning. One of them was a member of the Navajo Nation. Being busy with herding stray cattle all day, there had been no time for the three of them to eat. Toward the end of the day, two of the cowboys started talking about […]
Three Bad Puns
A certain man was infatuated with a young woman, but was so timid he never had the courage to speak to her. In fact, he told his therapist that every time he got near her he felt like nothing more than a tiny pebble. "Well," his therapist responded, "if you want to get the girl […]
Stock Market Joke
Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary. Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up sharply. Cows steered into a bull market. Pencils lost a few points. Hiking equipment was trailing. Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline. Weights were up in heavy trading. Light switches were off. Mining equipment […]
Stupid!
An unidentified man in Buenos Aires pushed his wife out of an eighth-floor window but his plan to kill her failed when she became entangled in some power cables below. Seeing she was still alive, the man jumped and tried to land on top of her. He missed… Baggy clothes may save your life: a […]
Church Bulletin Bloopers
These sort of quotes will keep you careful about what you say & write: Don’t let worry kill you. Let the Church help. Thursday night-Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community For those of you who have children and don’t know it, […]
Smile: Life Is Too Short!
Police explanation A man was driving down a local street one day and approached a stop sign. He barely slowed down and ran right through the stop sign after glancing for traffic. What the driver didn’t know was that a policeman was watching the intersection. The policeman pulled out after him and stopped the car […]
Bill Gates Story…
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly comparedthe computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If G.M.had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would allbe driving twenty-five dollar cars that got one-thousand miles to thegallon." In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued apress release stating, "If G.M. […]
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