Humor
Humor: The Pastor And The Eggs
Do you know what Winnie the Pooh and John the Baptist have in common… Their middle name! Subject: THE PASTOR AND THE EGGS The elderly pastor was searching his closet for his collar before church one Sunday morning. In the back of the closet, he found a small box containing 3 eggs and 100 $1 […]
Dumb Blondes And A Dentist Story
One day, this guy is sitting in this bar taking his merry time. All of a sudden he’s startled by three blondes giving cheers, saying, “Fifteen! Fifteen!” He just ignores them and continues to drink. About 5 minutes later, the blondes again say, “Fifteen! Fifteen!” At this, the guy then walks over and asks them […]
Children Talking To God
Dear GOD, In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation? * Jane Dear GOD, Are you really invisible or is that just a trick? * Lucy Dear GOD,Is it true my father won’t get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house?* Anita Dear […]
Instant Win Airbags!
Press Release GENERAL MOTORS INTRODUCES NEW INSTANT WIN AIRBAGS DETROIT – With third-quarter sales sluggish and its share of the domestic market down 11 percent since 1993, General Motors unveiled a new instant win airbag contest Monday. The new airbags, which award fabulous prizes upon violent, high-speed impact, will come standard in all the company’s […]
Ya Can’t Take It With You!
A dying man gathered his Lawyer, Doctor and Clergyman at his bed side and handed each of them an envelope containing $25,000 in cash. He made them each promise that after his death and during his repose, they would place the three envelopes in his coffin. He told them that he wanted to have enough […]
Top Ten Signs…
10) The Preacher announces the sermon is from Galatians….and you check the table of contents. 9) You think Abraham, Isaac & Jacob had a few hits during the 60’s. 8) You open to Luke and a WWII Bond falls out. 7) Your favorite Old Testament Patriarch is Hercules. 6)A small family of woodchucks has taken […]
Light Bulb Jokes
1. How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb? Only one since his/her hands are in the air anyway 2. How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb? None. God has predestined when the lights will be on. Or… Calvinists do not change light bulbs. They simply read out […]
Monkey Technology
Date: Tue, 9 Sep 1997 From: Adrian Gilbert <> A man goes into a pet store looking for a monkey. “I don’t want any old monkey,” he says to the store owner, “I want one that can do something special.” The store owner points towards three identical looking monkeys in politically-correct, animal-friendly natural mini-habitats. “The […]
Computers And Software Quotes
Quotes about computers and software and other things Collected by Steen Hansen Hviid, Columbus, Ohio, USA “Unix was not designed to stop people from doing stupid things, because that would also stop them from doing clever things.” –Doug Gwyn “True research is like fumbling in the dark for the right switches. Once you’ve turned the […]
Bad News
From: Adrian Gilbert <> To: GodsHome JokesList <> The little church in the suburbs suddenly stopped buying from its regular office supply dealer. So, the dealer telephoned Deacon Brown to ask why. “I’ll tell you why,” shouted Deacon Brown. “Our church ordered some pencils from you to be used in the pews for visitors to […]
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