Humor
Today’s Humo[u]r
Three leaders of the big beer companies meet for a drink. The president of Budweiser orders a Bud. Miller’s president orders a Millers and the president of Coors orders a Coors. When it is Guinness turn to order he orders a soda. Why didn’t you order a Guinness everyone asks? Nah Guinness replies. If you […]
More Bumper Stickers
* FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION! It comes bundled with the software. * I can’t dial 911. There’s no 11 on my phone. * I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was, “Always”. * What is a free gift? Aren’t all gifts free? * Can you yell “MOVIE!” in a crowded […]
Encounter with a Biker
There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a great huge, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig. “Well, whatcha’ gonna do about it?” he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.”Come on, man,” the biker says, “I didn’t think you’d […]
TEXAS BEER JOINT SUES LOCAL CHURCH OVER LIGHTNING STRIKE!
(This should keep you chuckling for awhile) A bar called Drummond’s (in Mt Vernon, Texas ) began construction on an expansion of their building, hoping to “grow” their business. In response, the local Southern Baptist Church started a campaign to block the bar from expanding – petitions, prayers, etc. About a week before the bar’s […]
Dog’s Diary vs Cat’s Diary :-)
The Dog’s Diary 8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm – Played in […]
Humo[u]r
Hillary Clinton died and went to heaven. As she stood in front of Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates, she saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. She asked, “What are all those clocks?” Saint Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock […]
Humo[u]r September 2012
“Dad, where did I come from?” asks this 10-years-old. The father was shocked that a 10 year old would be asking a question like that. He was hoping to wait a few more years before he would have to explain the facts of life, but he figured it was better a few years early than […]
Blonde Pilot
The Blonde Pilot.. This is the story of the poor dizzy blonde flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot. He has a heart attack and dies. She, frantic, calls out a May Day. “May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead. And I don’t […]
Visiting many places…
I have been in many places, but I’ve never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can’t go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone. I’ve also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there I have, however, been in Sane. They don’t have an airport; you have to be driven there. […]
Humo[u]r
Three old timers chatting at restaurant! They sat down at a table while waiting to be served. One of them said; Hay Jake! Isn ¢â‚¬â„¢t this your 50th anniversary? Jake replies! Yep. Well, the old timer asked, what are you planning on doing? Jake replies, well! I remember taking my wife to Arizona on our 25th […]
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