Humor
Humo[u]r
One who runs in front of the car gets tired. One who runs behind gets exhausted. ================ A young man bought an expensive piece of jewelry as a present for his girlfriend. ¢â‚¬Å“Don ¢â‚¬â„¢t you want her name engraved on it? ¢â‚¬ asked the clerk. The young man thought for a moment, and then, ever the realistic, […]
STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM
(I’d have given him a grade for creativity). Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die? * his last battle Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? * at the bottom of the page Q3. River Ravi flows in which state? * liquid Q4. What is the main reason for divorce? * marriage Q5. What […]
Humo[u]r
Mrs. Flanders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, “Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, and a ruby pendant.” “But you’re not wearing any of those,” he told her. I know, it’s in case I die before my husband. I’m sure he’d remarry, and I want her to go […]
Humo[u]r
An elderly woman called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car had been broken in to. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: “They’ve stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!” she cried. The dispatcher said, “Stay calm. An officer is on the […]
Shirley & Marcy
Shirley & Marcy A mother was concerned about her kindergarten son, Timmy, walking to school. He didn’t want his mother to walk with him. She wanted to give him the feeling that he had some independence but yet know that he was safe. So she had an idea of how to handle it. She asked […]
Work vs Play
In 1923, Who Was: 1. President of the largest steel company? 2.. President of the largest gas company? 3. President of the New York stock Exchange? 4. Greatest wheat speculator? 5. President of the Bank of International Settlement? 6. Great Bear of Wall Street? These men were considered some of the worlds most successful of […]
Married for the 4th time
The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80 and then about her new husband’s occupation. “He’s a funeral director,” she answered. “Interesting,” the newsman thought. […]
Clever Definitions
READ SLOWLY—-IT MAY TAKE A WHILE FOR THE LIGHT TO SHINE, BUT THESE ARE RATHER CLEVER! 1. ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonalds 2. AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tried to do 3. BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage 4. BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with 5. CONTROL: A short, ugly […]
Police officer chased ‘himself’ for 20 minutes
An undercover police officer in the UK spent 20 minutes ”chasing himself round the streets” by mistake. 09 February 2012 An undercover police officer in the UK spent 20 minutes “chasing himself round the streets”. The plain-clothed officer – who has not been named – was looking for suspects in a town in Sussex that […]
Humo[u]r
During a Sunday-morning worship service, a mother tried everything she could think of ¢â‚¬”including rewards, scoldings, and threats ¢â‚¬”to get her fidgety 7-year-old to be quiet. Nothing worked. Finally, about halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered something in the little boy ¢â‚¬â„¢s ear. He immediately stopped fidgeting and sat quietly for the rest of the […]
Categories
Articles may be reproduced in any medium, without applying for permission
(provided they are unedited, and retain the original author/copyright information - and a reference to this website :-)!
26,756 articles online.
Protected by Akismet, Digital Ninjas and an Ion Cannon. Really.
Blog with WordPress