Humor
Humo[u]r
Thought For The Day: If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out, it could spell disaster. ============= A man visiting a graveyard saw a tombstone that read: ¢â‚¬Å“Here lies John Smith, a lawyer and an honest man. ¢â‚¬ ¢â‚¬Å“How about that! ¢â‚¬ he exclaimed. ¢â‚¬Å“They ¢â‚¬â„¢ve got three people buried in one grave. ¢â‚¬ ===================== TEACHER: […]
ATHEIST HOLY DAY :-)
FLORIDA COURT SETS ATHEIST HOLY DAY In Florida , an atheist created a case against Easter and Passover Holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians and Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days. The case […]
Humo[u]r (corny :-)
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his departed mother and started back for his car, parked on the cemetery road. His attention was diverted to a man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity, and kept repeating, “Why did you die? Why did you die?” The […]
Creative words (this list is not for wowsers…)
The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners: 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. 2. Ignoranus: […]
C’est la vie (humo[u]r)
Recently, when I went to McDonald’s I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. ‘We don’t have half dozen nuggets,’ said the teenager at the counter. ‘You don’t?’ I replied. ‘We only have six, nine, or twelve,’ was the […]
Humo[u]r
It’s all in the punctuation: An English professor wrote the words, “Woman without her man is nothing” on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: “Woman, without her man, is nothing.” The women wrote: “Woman: Without her, man is nothing.” ======================= Wine does not make you FAT; it makes […]
Humo[u]r
Q: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is 24 hours a day/seven days a week? A: A widow. =================== How Many Wives? A little boy was attending his first wedding with the family.. After the service, a cousin wondered aloud, “I wonder how many women can a man marry?” “Sixteen,” […]
Scandinavian warning
It’so good to be multi-lingual.. Ole is the pastor of the local Norwegian Lutheran Church , and Pastor Sven is the minister of the Swedish Covenant Church across the road. One day they are seen pounding a sign into the ground, which said: DA END ISS NEAR! TURN YERSELF AROUNT […]
Humo[u]r
IS IT SCOTCH? On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher. The florist’s son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers. The candy-store owner’s daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy. Then the liquor-store owner’s son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and […]
Humo[u]r
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded around a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing […]
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