Humor
Oops… Stupid Quotes by Famous People: Political Parapraxis
Politicians are just as famous for their well rehearsed and practiced speeches, as they are for their slip ups when they need to speak without the luxury of a speech writer. Thus, their funniest and often inadvertent, but undoubtedly hilarious quotes are those that are said at press conferences and interviews. Given below is a […]
Humo[u]r
It was the firs day of school, and the first grade teacher decided to see how much her students knew about math. ¢â‚¬Å“Steven, can you tell me what is 3 and 2? ¢â‚¬ Steven said, ¢â‚¬Å“That ¢â‚¬â„¢s when you should watch very, very carefully before you swing at the next pitch. ¢â‚¬ =============== A man goes to the […]
Irish Medical Dictionary :-)
The Irish have the lowest stress rate because they do not take medical terminology seriously … Medical Term Irish Definition Artery The study of paintings Bacteria Back door to cafeteria Barium What doctors do when patients die Benign What you be, after you be eight Caesarean Section A neighbourhood in Rome Cat scan Searching for Kitty […]
Old Age
Old Age Three elderly golfers are walking down the fairway. “Sixty is the worst age to be,” says the 60-year-old, “You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time nothing happens.” “Ah, that’s nothing,” says the 70-year-old. “When you’re 70, you don’t have a bowel movement any more. […]
Humo[u]r
Jay went to a psychiatrist. ¢â‚¬Å“Doc, he said, ¢â‚¬Å“I ¢â‚¬â„¢ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed I think there is somebody under it. I get under the bed; I think there ¢â‚¬â„¢s somebody on top of it. Top, under, under top. I ¢â‚¬â„¢m going crazy! ¢â‚¬ ¢â‚¬Å“Just put yourself in my hands for two years, ¢â‚¬ said the […]
CURTAIN RODS—-PRICELESS
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on […]
More Church Bulletin board bloopers
* Sermon Outline: I. Delineate your fear II. Disown your fear III. Displace your rear * Next Friday we will be serving hot gods for lunch. * If you would like to make a donation, fill out a form, enclose a check and drip in the collection basket. * Nov. 11: An evening of boweling […]
Religious Dogs
http://www.dogwork.com/prybrme8/
Children’s (religious) wisdom :-)
LOT ‘S WIFE The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot’s wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, ‘My Mommy looked back once while she was driving,’ he announced triumphantly, ‘and she turned into a telephone pole!’ ________________________________ GOOD SAMARITAN A Sunday school teacher was telling her class […]
PROOF-READING: a dying art
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next […]
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