Humor
Valentine’s Day Story
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes […]
Men And Women
Better than eating the evidence… ———————————— Morris is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker, Joe, is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense." "Hey Joe, he yells out – I didn’t know you were […]
Husbands And Wives
There were these three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third guy remains quiet. After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, "Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have […]
Vocabulary Builders
1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks’ trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes. 2. CARPERPETUATION (kar’ pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, […]
Y0k Joke For The Day
And prior to the y1K problem, we had the y0K problem………. Translated from Latin scroll dated 2 B.C. Dear Cassius: Are you still working on the Y zero K problem? This change from BC to AD is giving us a lot of headaches and we haven’t much time left. I don’t know how people will […]
Well Known Adages
Do you recognize these well known adages? 1.All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly auriferous. ANS: All that Glitters is not Gold. 2.Sorting on the part of mendicants must be interdicted. ANS: Beggars cannot be choosers. 3.Male cadavers are incapable of rendering any testimony. ANS: Dead men tell no tales. 4.Neophite’s serendipity. ANS: […]
Wedding Joke For The Day
A little boy was in a relative’s wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride’s side and groom’s side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar…so it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR […]
The English Language
In celebration of the complexities of the English language, we bring you the following: Lets face it English is a stupid language. There is no egg in the eggplant No ham in the hamburger And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England French fries were not invented in […]
Football Joke For The Day
A guy takes his girlfriend to a football game for the first time. After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game. "Oh, I really liked it," she said, "but I just couldn’t understand though why they were killing each other for 25 cents." "What do you mean?" "All they kept screaming […]
How To Bathe A Cat
(Note: Jeffery LaCroix is a veterinarian with an office in Wilmington. He writes a column for the Morning Star called “From Paws to Tails.” Here is his response to a letter regarding bathing a cat:) Dear Dr. LaCroix: I’ve heard that cats never have to be bathed, and that they have some sort of special […]
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