Humor
Liven Up Your Day :-)!
Q: "What does it take to keep an idiot in suspense?" Is your job getting a little boring??? Here are suggestions to stir things up a little bit at work! Page yourself over the intercom. (Don’t disguise your voice.) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one […]
If Men Ruled The World
Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response To "I love you." Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, […]
Gettings Things Done :-)!
The phone rings at KGB headquarters. They answer: "Hello?" "Hello, is this KGB?" "Yes. What do you want?" "I’m calling to report my neighbor Yankel Rabinovitz as an enemy of the State. He is hiding undeclared diamonds in his firewood." "This will be noted." Next day, the KGB goons come over to Rabinovitz’s house. They […]
Maths Education Over The Years
Teaching Maths in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? Teaching Maths in 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit? Teaching […]
Newspaper Headlines
1. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says 2. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers 3. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted 4. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case 5. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents 6. Farmer Bill Dies in House 7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms 8. Is […]
Light Bulb Jokes (Not Again!)
1. How many Charismatics does it take to change a light bulb? One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness. 2. How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb? None. God has predestined when the light will be on. Calvinists do not change light bulbs. They […]
Computer Instructions From Dr. Seuss
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report. If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and […]
Pearly Gates Story
St. Peter stood at the Pearly Gates, waiting for the incoming. He saw Jesus walking by and caught his attention. "Jesus, could you mind the gate while I go do an errand?" "Sure," replied Jesus. "What do I have to do?" "Just find out about the people who arrive. Ask about their background, their family, […]
So You Think You’ve Had A Bad Day!
The following is taken from a Florida newspaper: A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the house in the kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle and somehow, the motorcycle slipped into gear. The man, still holding the handlebars, was dragged through a glass […]
Computer Intelligence :-)
This is reportedly an actual phone dialog of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee: Support: "Hello, Technical Support; may I help you?" Customer: "Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect." S: "What sort of trouble?" C: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." S: "Went away?" C: […]
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