Humor
Space Aliens
YOUR CO-WORKER COULD BE A SPACE ALIEN, SAY EXPERTS … here’s how you can tell (by Michael Cassels of the “National Inquirer”)> ….. Many Americans work side by side with space aliens who look human – but you can spot these visitors by looking for certain tip-offs, say experts. They listed 10 signs to watch […]
Definitions
I have the absolutely correct and totally irrefutable definitions for the terms that have been brought up lately: Legalist (n.) – Someone who would bind his own religious views on me, thinks his views are synonymous with Holy Writ, hollers and yells a lot, and consigns me to Hell if I don’t agree with him. […]
Euroenglish And Other Humor
ANNOUNCEMENT – EUROENGLISH The European Commission just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase in plan […]
Help?
While cruising at 40,000 feet, the airplane shuddered and Mr. Benson looked out the window. “Good lord!” he screamed, “one of the engines just blew up!” Other passengers left their seats and came running over; suddenly the aircraft was rocked by a second blast as yet another engine exploded on the other side. The passengers […]
Final Leg Of Cross-Country Drive
From: Casey The final leg of your cross country drive finds you curiously divided between stupor and rage. You sit in a layer of dried french fries and eviscerated taco innards and listen dispassionately to the ongoing intellectual debate between your children: “Could you PLEASE stop doing that with your lips?” “Stop doing what?” “Making […]
Religious Humour
QUESTION: Where do the characters go when I use my backspace or delete them on my PC? ANSWER: The characters go to different places, depending on whom you ask: * The Catholic Church’s approach to characters: The nice characters go to Heaven, where they are bathed in the light of happiness. The naughty characters are […]
Soaps In The Hotel
For more gr8 jokes visit Moshe’s Joke of the Day : http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/Heights/5422/ and don’ forget to signup for the JOTD mailing list (now with 400+ subscribers:) Enjoy !! ….. Dear Maid, Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please […]
Nelson Mandela/When Life Begins
Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching the telly when he hears a knock at the door. When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Chinese man, clutching a clipboard and yelling: “you sign! You sign!”. Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts. Nelson is standing there in complete amazement […]
The Meaning Is Clear!
CAREFUL WHERE YOU SIT A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus. When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her fourth move he burst out laughing. […]
Kids!
A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later: “Da-ad…” “What?” “I’m thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?” “No. You had your chance. Lights out.” Five minutes later: “Da-aaaad…” “WHAT?” “I’m THIRSTY…Can I have a drink of water??” “I told you NO! If you ask again I’ll have […]
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