Humor
Boycotting Disney
The top ten reasons why the Baptists are boycotting Disney: 10) Disney is open on Sundays. 9)Mice don’t tithe. 8) Disney is anti-family: any kid given a choice of going to church or going to Disney World will choose the Mouse. 7) Almost as many people go to Disney World as to 1st Baptist Church […]
Desert Island, Roosters Etc. Humor
A rather inhibited engineer finally splurged on a luxury cruise to the Caribbean. It was the “craziest” thing he had ever done in his life. Just as he was beginning to enjoy himself, a hurricane roared upon the huge ship, capsizing it like a child’s toy. Somehow the engineer, desperately hanging on to a life […]
Headlines
Subject: Some last humour before I go on hols…….. Qld here I come! Date: Thu, 18 Sep 1997 From: Noble Funny headlines from my Stateside mate…. Illiterate? Write today for free help. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere again. Our experienced Mom will care for your child. […]
Lawyers
Sun Hampton wrote: A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA (Federal Housing Administration) loan for a client. He was told that the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three […]
Confucius Say
From: Casey Woman who cooks beans and peas in same pot very unsanitary. Man who fly plane upside down have crackup. Support bacteria — it’s the only culture some people have! Man who run behind car get exhausted. Man who lose key to apartment not get new key. He who sitteth on an upturned tack […]
Pirate Joke
Subject: PIRATE JOKE FOR THE DAY From: “Sometimes I really wish I could be what I was when I wanted to be what I am now.” A pirate comes walking into a dockside tavern. He has a wooden leg, a hook instead of a hand, and a glass eye. He sits down at the bar […]
Honk If You Love Jesus!
From a Christian (!) newsgroup, for your edification 🙂 The other day I went to the local religious book store and bought a HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker. I’m really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed! I was stopped at a light at a busy intersection just lost in the Lord […]
Church Dictionary
Baptistry A church’s swimming pool, designed by a finance committee with a concern for cutting costs. Blind Faith Obsolete phrase meaning visually challenged faith. Burnout When clergy start preaching from the telephone book. The result of extreme overwork or excessive stress. Hiding the telephone book is not a sufficient treatment. Camping A specialized ministry traditionally […]
Believe It Or Not!
A man’s wife asks him to go to the store to buy some cigarettes. He walks down to the store only to find it closed, so he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her. They have a couple of […]
Worth
From: Gary Post A well meaning but inexperienced tourist was visiting a Polynesian island when he came across a native man proudly displaying twenty shark teeth on a string around his neck. “I guess you must be prize shark teeth the way most civilizations value pearls,” said the tourist. “More so,” said the Polynesian. “Almost […]
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