Humor
Humo[u]r
A man was in the kitchen making a lot of noise! His wife comes in and asks why he was making so much noise? The man replies: “I am killing flies.” A short time later his wife came back and he was still making lots of noise! She asks: “Well, Mr.Big Shot, how many flies […]
Humo[u]r
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!” The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his […]
Old Age :-)
TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU’VE EVER BEEN, YET THE YOUNGEST YOU’LL EVER BE, SO ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS. Observations On Growing Older ~Your Kids are becoming you…and you don’t like them…but your grandchildren are Perfect! ~Going Out is good.. Coming Home is better! ~You Forget names ….. But it’s OK because other […]
Humo[u]r
A new business was opening, and one of the owner ¢â‚¬â„¢s friends sent flowers for the occasion. But when the owner read the card with the flowers, it said. ¢â‚¬Å“Rest in Peace ¢â‚¬ The owner was little upset and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist about the obvious mistake, the florist said, […]
Church Squirrels
There were five houses of religion in a small Florida town: The Presbyterian Church, The Baptist Church, The Methodist Church, The Catholic Church and The Jewish Synagogue…. Each church and Synagogue was overrun with pesky squirrels. One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer […]
Humour: Why Teachers Drink!
History: In wartime children who lived in big cities had to be evaporated because it was safer in the country. Maths: A total is when you add up all the numbers, and a remainder is an animal that pulls santa on his slay. History: Sometimes in the war they take prisners and keep them as […]
Humo[u]r
Officer to driver going the wrong way up a one way street. “And where do you think you are going?” Driver: – “I’m not sure, but I must be late because everyone else is coming back.” ============== A man awoke one evening to discover prowlers in his storage shed. He immediately called 911, gave his […]
English: a crazy language!
How Good is Your English? 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce. 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 4) We must polish the Polish furniture.. 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6) The soldier […]
What to do with your enemies
Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked, “How many of you have forgiven your enemies?” 80% held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question. All […]
Remembering Mum’s Clothesline
Remembering Mum’s Clothesline There is one thing that’s left out. We had a long wooden pole (clothes pole) that was used to push the clotheslines up so that longer items (sheets/pants/etc.) didn’t brush the ground and get dirty. You have to be a “certain age” to appreciate this one…. (But you […]
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