Humor
Ten Guidelines For Enlightenment
Some non-Christian (but not unChristian) important wisdom for earth- dwellers: Swami Johnnieshere’s Ten Guidelines for Enlightenment 1.Be a Fundamentalist — ensure that the Fun always comes before the Mental. Realize that life is a situation comedy that will never be cancelled. A laugh track has been provided and the reason we are put in the […]
Moron Jokes
Date: Thu, 14 May 1998 07:47:13 -0400 From: CK Bannister <> To: christia listserv <> Subject: MORON AWARDS JOKE FOR THE DAY From: Barry Whitney <> =========================================== T H E M O R O N A W A R D S ! ************************************* LOUISIANA: A man walked into a Circle-K, put a $20 bill on […]
Smile &Amp; Be Happy?
1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to laugh. 2. Multiply this number by 2. 3. Add 5. 4. Multiply it by 50. 5. If you have already had your birthday this year, add 1747. If you haven’t, add 1746. 6. Last step: Subtract the four digit […]
Vegetarians
Seen on a bumper sticker: “I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals, I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants.” ~~~ Fowl Play ~~~ A forest ranger is making rounds in a remote part of the wooded reserve when he comes across an unkempt man, sitting at a make-shift campfire, and, to […]
Densa IQ Test
1. The maker doesn’t want it; the buyer doesn’t use it; and the user doesn’t see it. What is it? 2. A child is born in Boston, Massachusetts to parents who were both born in Boston, Massachusetts. The child is not a United States citizen. How is this possible? 3. Before Mount Everest was discovered, […]
Dear God…
So far today, I’ve done all right. I haven’t gossiped and I haven’t lost my temper. I haven’t been grumpy, nasty, or selfish. But in a few minutes, God, I’m going to get out of bed and that is when I’m going to need a lot of help. Amen ….. A woman went to the […]
Buying A Baseball Bat
After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks and insane regulations at the department of motor vehicles, I stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for my son. I brought my selection – a baseball bat – to the cash register. “Cash or charge?” the clerk asked. “Cash,” I snapped. […]
Fundamentalishness
From: “Rowland C. Croucher” <> Sent by a friend (no malice intended: Fundos – why don’t you do one for Liberals?) You ~might~ be becoming too fundamentalish when… * You pronounce “sin” with two syllables. * You enjoy talking to people in King James English. * You are building your own pulpit for your living […]
Best And Worst: Country Western
– How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Get Out Of My Life – Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed – Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure – I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life – I Fell In A Pile Of You And […]
Humour
The following beguiling ideas about science quoted here were gleaned from students’ essays, exams, and class room discussions. One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second. Thunder is a rich source of loudness. You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you […]
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