Humor
No Room At The Inn
By the time John pulled into the little town, every hotel room was taken. “You’ve got to have a room somewhere.” he pleaded. “Or just a bed–I don’t care where.” “Well, I do have a double room with one occupant,” admitted the manager, “and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell […]
Abbot And Costello Meet Unix
Costello calls Abbott with some questions about UNIX: Costello: What is the command that will tell me the revision code of a program ? Abbott: Yes, that’s correct. Costello: No, what is it ? Abbott: Yes. Costello: So, which is the one ? Abbott: No. ‘which’ is used to find the program. Costello: Stop this. […]
Animal Humor
The Parrot and the Chicken, The Frog and the Figurine Here is your smile for the day ….. David received a parrot for his birthday. This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren’t expletives were, to say the least rude. David tried […]
Humour
HUMOUR From: “Sometimes I really wish I could be what I was when I wanted to be what I am now.” <> ================================================== A pirate comes walking into a dockside tavern. He has a wooden leg, a hook instead of a hand, and a glass eye. He sits down at the bar and orders […]
I’m Normal, You’re Crazy
“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” – Bertrand Russell HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY AT WORK Page yourself over the intercom. (Don’t disguise your voice.) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them […]
21st Century 23rd Psalm
In these days of increasing sophistication in our language, and jargon which overflows into almost every area of our lives, we feel sure that by the year 2000 a new millennium version of the Bible will have been produced incorporating much of this modern language – perhaps it will be called the NMV New Millennium […]
Crazy Vs
Jones is driving past the state mental hospital when his left rear tire suffers a flat. While Jones is changing the tire, another car goes by, running over the hub cap in which Jones was keeping the lug nuts. the nuts are all knocked into a nearby storm drain. Jones is at a loss for […]
The Pope Gets To Heaven
The pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He’s met by the reception committee, and after a whirlwind tour is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad recreations available. He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, and spends the next eon or so […]
Housecleaning
Sounds like about all the time I have anyway “Our houses are such unwieldy property that we are often imprisoned rather than housed in them.” – Henry Thoreau – ~~~ 30 Minutes to a Clean House ~~~ Or, “15 Secret Shortcuts to Good Housekeeping that your mother never told you.” Secret Tip 1: DOOR LOCKS […]
You Might Be A Preacher If…
Everybody stops talking when you enter the room. You’ve ever lied at a funeral. You always read the obituaries. You’ve ever suffered anxiety attack while playing Bible Trivia Pursuit. You wonder why people who have some time to kill want to spend it with you. You get your second wind when you say “And in […]
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